Instagram's 7 Deadly Sins

Instagram's 7 Deadly Sins

Disclaimer beforehand, this post is meant for satirical irony and not something to be taken to heart. If you're a keen Instagram user, don't fret because I use the platform too. The things I'm about to list here may not be something you agree with therefore please ead everything with an open mind and perceive this as a witty comedy in typed form. This post is full of unfiltered sass and 'French' curses that may resonate within Regina George's burn book and Blair Waldorf's list of bitchy comebacks. You have been warned.

1. The stupid algorithm

Right, let's get this over quick. Everybody knows the change Instagram did with their algorithm and most of us are affected by it, in a bad way. I used to think it won't affect me until I grew tired of seeing 50 posts by the same friend whose knuckle head revolves around lifting weights and turning into a drunk, steroid induced chicken. Ten minutes later and I am still scrolling through posts made by the same person because apparently, Instagram thinks they know us so well that they start recommending the 'good stuff' — except it's not 'good' at all. It's tiring, boring and annoying. Come on Instagram, don't act like you know what's good for us.

2. #give #me #all #the #likes #and #follow #me #back!!

Alright, not gonna lie — I used to think this was how it should be when I first signed up for Instagram. It didn't take long before the taste of nasty bullshit crawled in my throat. Before you guys team up and roast me, do remember that I'm not completely against hashtags. I know hashtags are necessary to gain views and likes (because let's be real, it makes us happy when we get all the likes from random, suspicious strangers) which is completely fine if you do it in moderation. Hashtags are digital morphine. They make you want to add more, have more, seek more. I remember when my cousin took a lame-ass picture of her food and halfway through the upload, she actually asked if she could borrow my phone just to explore the list of popular tags associated with the subject she was about to upload. At that point I looked at her like she just murdered her neighbor's firstborn because really, how obsessed can someone get? Oh and don't get me started on the whole "follow back if I follow you" comment because that is desperate af.

3. Instagram 'comedians'

I know I know, people have different sense of humor. I love sass and most of the people I met online don't understand that so they think I'm being offensive and rude. See, I get that comedy is defined differently for different people. BUT, here's the shit: jokes involving sensitive topics like rape, treating women as sex objects, cheating on the partner or hooking up with your friend's significant other and pointing at a person's butt just to laugh at it are not jokes or worse, comedy. Which part of that is 'comedy?' I'd like to appreciate comedy as a form of intelligent art — they are crafted and well-thought and not a bunch of Fuck Jerry garbage thrown together into an old blender. I don't know, call me a party pooper — whatever, I don't care. But before you do that, read this, watch this and this and then tell me if they're funny. Just like Cody Ko sarcastically said in his video, "if that's not comedy then I don't know what is."

4. Pointless selfies and unrelated quotes

Confidence is cool. Loving yourself is even cooler. Taking selfies and loving how you look that day? Awesome! Loving yourself to the point of extreme narcissism and posting selfies every five minutes followed by unrelated song lyrics or fancy Oprah quotes? Uh maybe it's time to stop the steroid, honey. I mean, I guess this is just not my cup of tea therefore it annoys me. It annoys me to see people post selfies with the same pose and angles too. Heck, even if the pose or angle isn't the same, it's still annoying to me. Packed with excessive use of #hashtags #like #this and dramatic Taylor Swift quotes, the whole "I'm confident, here's my face" thing is just...too much.

5. Let's monetize everything with #ADS #Promotion and #Sponsorship

There was this revolutionary phase when a blue bear hair vitamin reigned my Instagram explore page, thanks to the ads and promotion done by influencers that I don't really care about. I get what you're thinking: nobody is forcing you to stare at the explore page! Okay but here's what I think — Instagram is an online marketing place with only very few people using the platform as a way to inspire, collect and share memories. Other than that, it's a business platform or at least, that's how it feels like. People find and get sponsors and partnership offers through Instagram, just like how blogging is currently used to monetize things instead of doing things old school. I guess with the evolution of 'influencer marketing', the invasion of billboard flavor is inevitable.

6. Ridiculous trends

It's not just Instagram but I'm going to still use Instagram as my case of study because that's where most of the cool kids get their latest 'knowledge.' Remember the era when everybody started doing the Kylie Jenner lip challenge by sucking on a bottle cap instead of using a safer method known as lip liners? Yeah, that was one. And now we have trends like this and this loitering around Instagram and other social media that I can't help but to question why. Like, why would you use red peppers, sanitary towels and a freaking condom to apply your foundation when you can use your hand!

7. Instagram culture

After reading Hannah's post about why and how social media can be a poisonous influence on us — which, by the way, serves as the core inspiration for this post (thanks, babe!) — I realized how much Instagram has brainwashed us into giving so much shit on statistics. It's like this viral infection that makes you check your phone every five minutes just to see how many people like the post you just did an hour ago. I don't know about you but at one point in my life I felt brainwashed. I felt like  I had to post something once a week or my feed is going to die. I mean, what. Why? Why feel like it's necessary to post once a week, have an extremely curated page (this month's theme has to be all blue! Because a e s t h e t i c, y'all!) and take pictures of every random thing I see just to something posted? Well that was me, a few years ago. Now, I just don't bother. I will post once in a month or once every two-three months if that means publishing good, quality content.

I completely understand that content creation is very important to some people. I get why some people care about their feed because first impression matters. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I post something, I want it to be relevant and not a filter post. Just like blogging, don't just publish something for the sake of publishing something, you know? I don't know, maybe it's just me being petty over little things that don't fit my taste bud.

There are probably other things about Instagram that makes me cringe but these seven things are probably the things that annoy me the most. Besides, I'm trying to be cool by using the whole '7 deadly sins' concept just for fun. The photographs (taken from Unsplash as per usual) used are also meant for a personal joke. Picture this: a bunch of people socializing on the surface. Now ask this: how many of them are actually socializing? Out of all the people we see across the street each day, how many of them use Instagram and how many of them don't? How many of them are trying to gain likes and followers and how many of them scroll past their feed feeling bored because the new algorithm is just a huge mess? It could be a fun guessing game if you think about it.